Buddy... How are you gone? You had been acting sick for a while now... life has been so busy with the two babies and school and the day to day... but you kept it together and it was really only in the last few days of your life that I really started to wonder if something was really wrong. But by then it was too late. I'm sorry I didn't realize how sick you were sooner Chico, and I am sorry for the times I snapped or yelled at you or threw you out in frustration of some of your neurotic behavior.. even the times you deserved it. I wish I could give you a week or a month or a year of snuggles in bed and steaks for dinner and tennis ball chasing on the beach to send you off right, but I guess that's what all that heaven stuff is supposed to be about right?
I know you lived a good, long life, and I fought hard to keep you by my side these last 8 years. I know you weren't as pampered toward the end as you had been in the beginning, when you were my only baby, but you knew you were always an important member of our family. My mom always said you couldn't complain about things even if you were a person (which you of course thought you were!).
I already miss you so much. I keep hearing your doggy nails clickety clack on the linoleum in the kitchen and that sound of you lapping from your bowl... I see you in a sweatshirt on the floor and a book bag in the corner... The door opens and at first I wonder if it's you pushing through. I see a commercial for Easter ham and wonder who will eat my scraps next week? I'm not sure what happens when I come home and your wet nose isn't there eagerly waiting.. Who will bark at the door, and the trucks going by? Will I ever be able to look at a beach, or a mailman, or a tennis ball and not think of you? I took you for granted every day, I didn't ever realize I had forgotten what life was like without you, without my best buddy by my side. Now there are holes, in the kitchen where your kibble bowl goes and in the corner where your bed should be and in my heart where you had been since I first took you in as a pup.. God I'm sitting here, bawling, not sure how to comfort myself without scratching your furry pelt. Your absence is raw and constant.
I love you Chico. You knew that, to the very end, and you went out like a hero. Thank you so much for sharing your life with me, with us. You were a great dog and a better friend. You are incredibly loved and will be missed more than you will ever know. Now, go back to chasing that ball or gnawing that rib bone, wherever you are, ok buddy?
Chico Rodes Ta
August 2001- March 2010
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